my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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