so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
