the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
