wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
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