whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
