This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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