Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize