I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
