My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
