yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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