you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize