the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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