I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
