WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
