I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i think im in europe. pls send help
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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