I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
