Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize