Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
