Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
