Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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