It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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