i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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