Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
