This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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