Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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