the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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