The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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