i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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