He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
