There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
