i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
