Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
