apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
