he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
