I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
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