he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
