i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
be right there i have to get my cape
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
