porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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