At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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