her vagine was all disorganized.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
