I just cut my nipple shaving
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
