The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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