But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
