it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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