So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
