I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
you had me at cake vodka
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
