Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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