Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
