I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
