You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
