I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
