i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
one might say we're banned from that church
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize