Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize