Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.

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(623): View more from Arizona

Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.

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(757): View more from Virginia

tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?

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(443): View more from Maryland

Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!

(860): View more from Connecticut

One less school supply you need to buy!!

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(630): View more from Illinois

Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.

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(574): View more from Indiana

He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy

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(720): View more from Colorado

Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.

(303): View more from Colorado

Glad to hear you raised your standards

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(574): View more from Indiana

All's fair in love and war. and tinder.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.

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