she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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