I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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