I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
high people should be assigned attendants
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
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