Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you didnt know i had herpes?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
