Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize