I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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