the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
