That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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