I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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