I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
